Spanking and mild bondage DO count. I'm not into strangulation either, never done it, never plan to do it. Everyone has to decide what they will and won't do, and with a partner, keep to their limits as well. There are a couple things that I'd be interested in trying, but Elyse is still iffy on them, so we haven't. It's a cooperative exchange, not you 'taking control' with out her permission.

 

From what I was asking, even light spanking counts. For me it's primal to know men are enjoying my sacrifice, but even when it's incidental, I've felt guys kind of grit their teeth and become more intense from hearing a subtle gasp or wince. To me, it's kind of validating in that I'm not feeling it for nothing.

 

I enjoy partial choking. Having his hand on my throat and feeling him squeezing gives me a rush of fear that makes my blood run hot. I don't want my breath squeezed out, but having the make an effort to draw it makes me feel very vulnerable.

 

I don't feel pain out of putting things in my ass. Am I weird?

The only pain a women would have with me is shame so hard it actually physically hurts, and I wouldn't take pleasure in that.

 

Thanks to an abusive marriage I can't think of being choked / strangled being anything to turn me on, it would probably result in flash backs

 

Goes back to the communication thing again.

 

Oh I know, tommo is very attentive and very caring and he has no desire to choke me, but however we both enjoy other kinks and because we met on here we are very open minded and speak about everything

 

One person's kink is another person's turn-on. I'm sure Elyse and I do things that some people would go WTF at.

 

Lol exactly

 

I love shoving my 8" cock down a woman's throat or up her ass. I love to hear the gutteral groan as my banana size curved cock slides in and she begs for me to cum in her ass soon as she can barely stand it. I like wrapping my hand around her throat as she is moaning and her tits heaving around my arm. If she is deepthroating, I like the feel when that gag reflex hits and milks my cock. I love a woman who won't pull off while suck so I can cum when ever and where ever I want. I love a woman's pussy most of all. Espically a hot wet wanton one. One that wants a face, finger, or dick in it day and night. A woman that pulls me into her as much as she can with hands arms legs heels and feet as she can. A woman willing to lick the salty sweat from my face neck and chest as a reward for plowing her pussy unto oblivion. A woman who would live without cloths except stripper heels and nipple rings in my house in return for sex, cleaning, room and board is a fantasy I have.

 

I'd like to draw a line between PAIN and DEGRADATION, even though DEGRADATION is a form of psychological PAIN. There are neurological reasons why (particularly) women might enjoy sexual PAIN. The enjoyment is not all "psychological". Personally, I have occasionally enjoyed PAIN, but hate DEGRADATION for myself. I've ran across porn & comments which squicks me by confusing the two. I'm not saying anything is wrong with the DEGRADATION kink, more power to anyone who can enjoy walking that tightrope.

But it's worth mention why PAIN can be sexually arousing apart from DEGRADATION or "in the mind" reasons.
You might have heard about how sensitive the clit is, the G spot, the skin around the vagina and anus? It's hard for me to imagine how any fuck could brutalize her sex organs worse than childbirth. When we forget childbirth, it's difficult to see nature's wisdom in hard wiring a confusion between pain & pleasure in a woman's brain's sexual circuitry. Guys in particular might have difficulty imagining what it's like to expect that sensitive parts of your genitals will be torn several times during your lifetime, as the cost of reproduction.

Below is a link to some of the research around this, and I've quoted & bolded relevant bits. The sexual reward centers connected to her "vaginal-cervical" region are activated during both intercourse and childbirth, and pain stimulates them as well as pleasure. Best guess I've heard so far is that the value of pain/pleasure confusion is that it makes the agony of childbirth more bearable, or reduces the trauma such that the mother is better able to nurse & bond with her baby afterward.

"Pussy stretching" is actually an ancient art, and some of the "pussy torture" in porn reminds me of it, not that I've seen much. Stretching might have been life or death for women in the eras before antibiotics & modern medicine, when 1 in 4 women died in childbirth. One of my college friend's had the division between her vagina and asshole torn out during her first child birth, such that it was "one hole". Even with stitch & antibiotics, it was about 6 weeks before she was near recovered. Vaginal tearing is rather common, even if her's was a little more severe. But imagine the infection rate before antibiotics.

Anyway, you actually reduce the risk of vaginal tearing if you practice gently stretching a pregnant woman's vagina, which increases it's elasticity over the months before the baby tears out. I haven't found pics of those techniques in particular. But I was told this by a woman historian who had studied belly dancing, which is actually an ancient exercise program which helps woman strengthen and condition the pelvic and abdominal muscles which would quicken childbirth, and thereby lessen chance of a 20+ hour ordeal. The erotic part of belly dancing probably helps keep up the motivation for their exercise program.


QUOTE
https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-21/edition-2/orgasm
We have reported that in women, pain thresholds are more than doubled during orgasm (Whipple & Komisaruk, 1985), and that the insular cortex and anterior cingulate cortex in the forebrain are activated during orgasm (Komisaruk et al., 2004). Other investigators report that these cortical regions are activated during painful stimulation (Casey et al., 2001). These findings, considered together, suggest that a significant (active inhibitory) interaction occurs between orgasm and pain in the insular and anterior cingulate cortices, indicating that they are involved in both pain and pleasure.

Could these brain regions have some property that is common to both pain and pleasure, perhaps intense emotional expression – controlling the contorted facial expression that occurs both during painful anguish and similarly during impending orgasm – separate from the actual different feelings of pain versus pleasure? Furthermore, it seems possible that (at least female) genital stimulation and orgasm, which we have shown attenuates the aversive component of pain, nevertheless may not attenuate the arousing quality of pain. This might help account for the practice of receiving what would appear to be pain-inducing stimulation in a sexually stimulating context, a combination that apparently intensifies pleasure.

Another brain component that we have found to be activated during orgasm in women is the paraventricular nucleus region of the hypothalamus (Komisaruk et al., 2006). The neurons of this nucleus secrete oxytocin, which is released into the bloodstream from the posterior lobe of the pituitary gland in peak amounts at orgasm in men and women (Carmichael et al., 1994). These neurons are activated in response to the vaginal-cervical stimulation that occurs during both vaginal intercourse and childbirth, and also to breast and nipple stimulation during suckling.

 

I think that is called a rectovaginal fistula. It happens too frequently to women in developing countries. In developed countries, obstetricians used to surgically create (and then repair) a fistula during childbirth to prevent the baby from creating one by tearing.

Your thesis is very interesting. I am research and think about it later in the summer when I have more time.

 

my ex loved thats stuff being toed choked but I personally wasnt that much into it bit I was into her n that was enough i feel sex is mutual how far you and your companion are willing to go is between those too

 

OK Star I promised to read this and I have but I am somewhat confused!

The OP is concerned with why men are aroused when their women feel pain but your contribution appears to be why women are aroused when they feel pain. I have been spanking girls most of my adult life so I know that it works and I do not need to understand the precise neurochemistry involved!

thinskin

 

For some, it's seeing what extent a woman will bear to be with him and continue. For others it's a control thing and often mutually enjoyed by both. Then there are just some weirdos that like inflicting real pain. I've been with all three. Some do it as added excitement and to some it's a way of life. I personally don't get the d/s relationships of some. It's fun for a weekend but I couldn't live that way.

 

I don't think it's the pain that arouses men. When they inflict pain on a woman sexually. I think it's something much deeper. The feeling of slight control. Knowing that she's vulnerable at that moment. Knowing that she has enough trust in you to know your not gonna hurt her.....just make her feel things. The moments after inflicting the pain where she is weak and your just there to comfort her. Kinda like how sex can be so emotional that the woman cries or has tears running down her cheeks. That's when something about the sex hits you on a deeper level. That's what the pain is meant to do.....make you feel things.

Now i don't agree with the torture type pain. That's totally different. Men that want to hurt a woman in that way or vice versa has some kind of serious issue in my opinion.